If you were on social media at any point in 2018, I am certain that you scrolled past a self-love post at least once a week.

In efforts to find out what my peers really understand about self-love outside of social media quotes and threads. I rounded up a few of my friends and asked them to share their understanding of love with me.

As I had expected, my friends gave me a variety of responses. My friends defined love as being effortless and empowering, acceptance and forgiveness. To my surprise a few of my friends admitted that they do not know what love is [an honesty I admire. ]

I then asked the same group of friends if they loved themselves. Unlike the first question where every answer was different, the answer to this question was uniform, 70% of the group of friends I asked, confessed that they love themselves with restraint. I did, however, receive different reasons why they love themselves with restraint, the reasons are the inability to forgive and accept who they are, and/or uncertainty whether they are deserving of the love that they can boldly describe and give to others.

In my opinion, the answer to whether you love yourself comes from what you define as love. I define love as a commitment, and that means I commit myself to the people and things that I love. So, if I fail to commit to myself through my actions, thoughts and speech its a sign that my self-love tank is running on low.

It’s safe to say that you cannot ask others to give you what you cannot give to yourself, neither can you pour out of an empty cup. If you fully and completely love yourself you can effortlessly fill others, care for others and show kindness to others.

Self-love also equals to self-awareness and self-awareness can only lead to a better version of yourself because, s

elf awareness = improved strengths and weaknesses. Self awareness, can also make it easier to accept yourself which can increase confidence. Most importantly, self-awareness + self-love = the important skill of self validation.

It takes 10 000 hours to perfect any skill, so how about you commit the next 417 days to practicing the skill of loving yourself in whatever way love means to you.

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